Restart This Strange New Heart
by AndroidEvian
Summary: After making a deal with a Shinigami who can alter time, L seeks to amend the past and the friendship he could have had with Yagami Light. However, signs of something wrong are already appearing, but not with who L would have expected.


_I remember that we met in a sea of unlikeliness._

 _I would have never suspected, that you, the one I accused,_

 _would have so quickly become the person that I wanted to be innocent._

 _I was so sure of it… I was so sure that you were innocent._

 _Why would you disprove that, Yagami Light?_

"Ryuzaki?" the pseudonym was being called by a voice the listener knew well.

"Ah. Sorry, Light, I was just thinking about the past." He shrugged and gave a small laugh, finishing the tea he'd been staring into so intently a minute earlier. It had been exactly a year since that day. Exactly a year, since that day he'd made a deal with that Shinigami, the one he'd met when he died for picking up the death note and testing its powers. In exchange for his soul, the Shinigami had agreed to selectively tweak certain bits of time. First, it removed the event of Ryuk losing his death note in the human world. Then, where Light and Misa had no memory of the death note's power, bringing that point of time to merge with the point of time where they worked with Ryuzaki on criminal cases, while removing the Kira case and substituting it with those that would have come if the Kira case had been solved before the detective died. A few snips and sews on the fabric of time were all it took to fix the events of the Kira case, and conserve the friendship Ryuzaki and Light had formed. _I don't know why… but I wanted this friendship to remain as much as I wanted justice to be served. Even though I'll be in an eternity of servitude to the Shinigami when I die. All for this… is it worth it, Light?_

"Ryuzaki; you know you can tell me anything right?" Light said, a friendly smile on his face.

"I know I can. I don't know that I always want to though, it's a bit complicated." the detective said, looking away with embarrassment at his inability to express himself, combined with the utter ruin that telling Light what he had done before the Shinigami reversed it all would bring.

"Tell me anyway. Whatever it is, I want to know." Ryuzaki watched as Light's hand levitated across the table before resting on his own.

"It's nothing important," he said, ghostly white skin taking on a somewhat healthier tone for a moment as he returned his gaze to the boy in front of him. "Come on, let's go, it's getting late." he finished, leaving the money and tip on the table, taking Light's hand to guide him from his chair out onto the carpet leading to the exit, and dropped it as they left the small café. In his other hand were a bag of sweets, and the two began the walk back to their headquarters. It was a clear night, with stars sparkling in the sky above and clouds of breath becoming more visible by the minute. The winds blew cooler, snow began to fall. Ryuzaki still only wore his usual attire, the long sleeved white t shirt, the loose blue jeans, and plan white shoes with no socks. He held his hand out, catching snowflakes.

"You're shivering like crazy…" Light commented, more to himself than his partner.

"Am I?" the detective mused, smiling as he looked at the boy. "Light… everything looks so pretty in the Winter." his eyes suddenly closed, his legs giving out on him as he fell backwards into the now snow covered sidewalk.

"Ryuzaki!"

…

Bright light spread into focus as Ryuzaki's eyes opened, a familiar face accompanied with it. It was his partner, cooling his forehead with a washcloth

"Light? What happened?" he asked, throat dry.

"Oh, sorry about that," the boy replied, handing Ryuzaki a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows as he sat up on the couch he lay in. "You were running a fever all of yesterday apparently, but it didn't really hit you until you were walking in the snow like that, with no jacket or anything."

"I see… what about—"

"Don't worry, I brought your sweets." Light sat back in his chair, crossing his arms with a huff. "I swear it's cause of the work we do and your diet of sugar and caffeine that you got sick like that out of nowhere… You're gonna kill yourself."

"Even if I did die due to the stress that comes with detective work, and my love of cakes and candies, I have a successor. I'm not concerned in the slightest as to what would happen to you and Amane Misa or the rest of the team if I were to die."

"You really are prepared for everything."

"Quite."

"Seriously though, don't talk like that…" Light said, biting his lip with some agitation.

"You're the one who brought up the topic of death." Ryuzaki countered, sipping his mug of hot cocoa empty. Light seemed to snap, pushing his partner into the couch and pinning his wrists down.

"You look like Hell! Your skin is hanging off of your bones, the shadows under your eyes are darker than when we first started working together, and you just fainted on the sidewalk last night! I'm worried about you…" He let Ryuzaki go, falling back on his knees. Ryuzaki actually needed a moment to recompose himself from the shock of such an emotional response concerning him.

"Light; I'm going to be fine." As naturally as he could, he reached out slowly, pulling the boy into a hug. "This is the gesture people use to reassure one another, isn't it…?" he asked, feeling the heat of Light's face increase on his chest.

"Yes… it is. Remember that time you stood in the rain, all alone, and I came out to get you?"

"I remember it."

"You said it was your fault when I was soaked from trying to bring you back in. You dried off my feet and said you were sorry. But it was no one's fault I got wet but my own."

"Why do you say that? I made you feel obliged to convince me to go back inside with you."

"Yeah. But from the start when I got out there, I wanted to bring you back in. I wanted to because I heard that strong people stand in the rain when they're crying so no one notices." A full minute of silence consumed the room, filling every crack and crevice in the walls and on the floor, seeming to envelop the place in a thick blanket of negative decibel fog.

"And if I told you that you were right, what would you think of me now, Light?"

"I wouldn't think any of less you… but why were you crying on that day, Ryuzaki?"

"I don't know. But I think I was scared I might lose you, my first real friend."

"You won't ever lose me, Ryuzaki… I promise. Not ever, in all of forever."

… _I know now; I can never tell you the events that happened, in the past that I erased._ Ryuzaki replied, silently. _For the good of mankind and for the good of… us._


End file.
